Are you truly happy??

Hello all! Long time no talk! We finally have gotten moved into the river house, renovations are well underway, and we are feeling pretty settled in our new, more relaxed, life! I am loving the more relaxed pace around here, not that we are less busy, in fact, I think we are busier than ever, but just that everything seems less chaotic. It feels like there’s less of a strict schedule out here in the country and it’s taken me just over a month to get used to it!

I will have lots of posts for the future about our renovations but as none of our projects are actually finished yet they’ll have to wait! But today I wanted to talk about something that has had me thinking hard for the last couple of days.

Many of my Facebook and Instagram followers (and if you don’t follow me, why not? lol ;)) will know about my weight loss journey. We are following a ketogenic lifestyle and have been for the past 6 months. My husband and I are both down over 40 lbs each and feel great. I also go to a TOPS (Taking Off Pounds Sensibly) group meeting every Wednesday. I love my TOPS group. It’s an incredibly supportive and encouraging group of ladies who help lift each other and celebrate the victories. I’m not saying that every week is a victory for me, in fact, I have had more than a couple of weeks in the last 6 months where the number has gone up instead of down, but for the most part I have been incredibly proud of myself for my downward trend!

What struck me this week was that after our meeting one of the lovely ladies asked my mother-in-law if I was always that happy. I’m the loud out-going one of the group. My entire life I have been the loud, out-going one. I know my parents struggled when I was younger but have now embraced the obnoxious human-being I am lol! Anyway, I didn’t hear the exact response my mother-in-law gave but I know it was along the lines of “for the most part, yes!”.

Since that moment I’ve wondered “Am I always happy? If yes, what makes me that way? Aren’t most people happy?” I’ve been trying to observe people for the last few days, I spent the day Thursday with my mom at the Farmers Market and although I think a good lot of the population is happy, there are definitely some who show it more than others. The woman that runs the Farmers Market is one of those bubbly, always happy people. She clearly loves her life.

And you know what?

So do I!

I am genuinely happy. Happier than I’ve ever been, in fact. I don’t think I’ve ever been a miserable person (although my mom would probably have something different to say about my moody teenage years!) but I am genuinely, truly, incredibly content in our life.

I am very fortunate to have a great set of parents (the best, actually!), an incredible (and always hilarious-without-meaning-to-be) set of grandparents, a wonderfully loving set of in-laws, the worlds best husband (sorry ladies, he’s all mine!), and 3 truly great children. Each and every one of these people make my life better in ways I will never be able to tell them and I am grateful to all of them!

The beautiful view from our front porch always makes me smile!

We have a beautiful home and are lucky enough to be able to renovate ourselves. I love the process of renovating, less fond of the living in chaos during them, but totally worth it. I love learning how to do something new (yes I am guilty of watching hours upon hours of youtube videos to learn how to do something. I would never admit I don’t know how to do something!). I love the time spent in my garden, watching plants grow into something beautiful, or tasty, is one of my favorite things. I talk to my pumpkin patch every day. They are my “little darlings” and I hope to have some great looking pumpkins in time for fall!

Roses are some of my favourite flowers!

I know that my confident, out-going, happy personality comes from my beautiful mother. She’s always happy, always laughing, and always brightens up any room. I also know that I have passed all of those traits on to my daughter, Maddie. She is, without a doubt, the happiest person I have ever met. No matter how much trouble she is in, how mad she has made us, how frustrated we are with her, she is ALWAYS singing and humming. I think I can count on one hand how many times she has been truly sad, or mad, in her 9 years. One look at her running through the sprinkler, or jumping on the trampoline, and I reminded that whatever little, trivial, thing I am worrying about means nothing.

Unless it’s raining if Maddie’s not in the house, this is where she is!

For the last year or so I have tried something I read about on Pinterest. Any time I am angry, frustrated, sad, about something I ask myself “Will this matter in 5 years?” 99% of the time the answer to that question is a huge NO! If it’s not something that will change your life for the worse, if it’s not something that will damage your family, if it’s not something that will even matter 5 years from now is it really worth worrying about??? It’s taken a long time to be able to do it successfully but now, when faced with something trivial I ask myself that question. If the answer is no, which is almost always is, I let it go. I take a deep breath, go for a walk if it’s really bothering me, have a long soak in a hot bath, a glass of wine (lets be honest, it’s more likely to be a gin and tonic!), and just let it go. It’s not worth it.

I’ve also let go of all of the hate. Hate is an ugly word. I don’t think there has ever been someone that I truly hate, but there have been more than a few people I have a strong dislike for. But they’re not worth it either. Again, it’s taken me a long time, but I truly feel like I have let go of all of it. I have mentally forgiven those I feel have wronged me. I’m choosing to focus on the good and it has made all of the difference in the world!

My aunt recently attended a birthday party for a woman she knows who just turned 100! 100 is an incredible feat, and I am so proud to have had a Nana who also made it to 100 before passing away shortly after her birthday. During this birthday party people wanted to know her secret to living so long. Do you want to know what she said? She said she never said a bad word about anyone, she never let people get to her. She let things slide off her back like a duck.

People like her are who I aspire to be.

I take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. I try to participate in activities with my daughter that will stick with her. I want her to think back to her childhood and remember the fun, happy, times we had together. The things we did together. The things I took the time to teach her. And during these times I learn so much from her.

The happiest person I have ever met! She inspires me every single day!

When life gets difficult, put the sprinkler under the trampoline, turn it on, and bounce all of your cares away. Even just watching her, or listening to her through the kitchen window, puts a smile on my face and reminds me that life is beautiful. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff. We are given one life, make it a happy, fun, loud, obnoxious, carefree one!

Live like someone left the gate open, find something you love and do it often, dye your hair a crazy colour and be unapologetic about it. Just do you. Other peoples opinion don’t matter! I truly think that’s the trick to true happiness. No longer worrying about what others think. If you love yourself everyone else will love you to! Try it! I promise you won’t be sorry!

I have had pink hair for the last few months and I don’t think I’m ever going back! I LOVE the pink hair!

Grateful

Today isn’t particularly special. It’s just a Thursday. Its nobody’s birthday. There’s nothing written on the calendar (which by itself seems somewhat special).
It’s just Thursday.
But it feels different.
Better.
It’s the first Thursday of summer break for Maddie. And this is the first time I haven’t been working during summer break. We are busy all of the time, in fact, I think I’m busier now then I was when I was working, but it’s different. There’s no real schedule to our busyness. I’ve been working hard in the yard and house getting ready to put it up for sale. I’ve been helping my in-laws with their house renos. I’ve been helping my cousin get ready for her wedding. But none of that requires a timed schedule.
And I am loving it.
Right now it is 24 degrees, the sky is partly cloudy, but those happy, wispy, summery clouds that you just know mean its a beautiful day. I am sitting at the park, it’s farmers market day so this place is bustling.
And it’s amazing.


The grass is covered in blankets and towels and families. The spray park is filled with kids who don’t care that they don’t know each other, they’re just happy to be playing together. There is a gentleman playing his guitar and singing behind me. There are vendors selling jams, breads, cookies, honey, vegetables, fruits, crafts, the crunchiest most delicious crackers ever, organic home raised meats, baby bunnies, pretty much anything you could ever imagine.
We came down here to meet my cousin for lunch and to wander the market. While we were here Maddie ran into one of her best friends who was playing in the spray park and she begged me to stay. We already had lunch plans so we couldn’t but I told her we would talk about it later (which, to be perfectly honest, is usually what I say when I’m hoping she’ll forget!).
Normally I would have things I NEEDED to do. Things that required us to be away from this amazing park. Things that would leave Maddie playing by herself. But this time I didn’t. Out of habit, I started to say “not today” and then she asked me “why not?”.
And I didn’t have an answer.
Why was I saying no? Our house is clean (not that that is as important as putting a smile on my beautiful daughters face), my cousin didn’t need any help today, I’m not needed at my in-laws house until tomorrow. Why couldn’t we spend the afternoon at the park?
So we ate lunch. We went home and she changed into her bathing suit, I grabbed my computer (thank you MacBook, knew you were a wise investment!) and my big comfy fold-up chair and headed back to the park.
Best decision I have made in a long time.
While I type this I can hear my daughters infectious laughter. She has the kind of laugh that makes everyone around her laugh too. She’s out-going, hyper, creative, enthusiastic about everything, and extremely loud at times, but she rarely has a bad day and she is NEVER in a bad mood. She’s the kind of kid who lights up every room she walks into, usually because she has to be the centre of attention and she is honestly the funniest person I know. She’s 8 now, and the last 8 years have flown by. She’ll be a teenager before I know whats happening so I’m trying to soak in all of these moments. Maddie has never met a person she didn’t like and we always joke that she is just like her grandfather – there is no such thing as a stranger, just a friend they haven’t met yet. Which means that every single kid in the spray park, whether they are 2 or 15, is her friend and playmate. She never discriminates against age, sex, or colour. If you’re willing to play with her, you’re her friend. The world could learn some things from her.
And as I look around me, at the families lounging in the grass, at the vendors selling their wares, at my amazing daughter I feel so grateful for my life.
I am so grateful to my incredible husband (still feels weird saying that!) who works so hard so that I can be home with Maddie until I decide what I want to do with my life. I am so grateful to live in such a beautiful place that still feels like a safe place to raise our daughter. I am so grateful to have 3 beautiful children (2 of them are adults I don’t see nearly often enough!).
I am just grateful.
And happy.

Deleriously, blissfully, joyfully, happy.